SAW-

CHAPTER 30

_ILHAM_

I woke up with a throbbing headache, I was confused to see myself in the living room, I might have slept off here yesterday and forgot to go upstairs. I tried my best to remember how I even slept off here yet I could not remember anything, nothing was coming to my head.

I sigh

The cleaners where already moving around the house to clean up, and one staff was already in the kitchen making breakfast. Good,  because I feel so tired to work right now. I went upstairs and laid on my bed feeling extra tired, a few minutes later I forced myself up and bath, then prayed after dressing up in a simple white abaya . 

I went back downstairs and was happy to see that she has already finished making the breakfast so I sat and ate, alone. I thought I'll see Khalil coming back today but maybe something caught him up and made him to stay there for a bit longer, he should be back soon, I'm sure of it.

I waited at home for the whole day, and I had planned on continuing to wait thinking Khalil will be back very soon, until I got a call from Waleeda inviting me over for the girls day out she's having with her friends saying she'll come over to pick me up. It was around four o'clock and I had to go back upstairs to change into a better outfit before coming back downstairs.

Some minute later, I heard a horn of a car and I knew instantly that it'll be her, I carried my bag and phone before going out to join her at the back seat of the huge SUV that's already filled up with her friends yet there was enough space for me, her driver was driving us.

It was surprising how well I was welcomed because I didn't even know some of the faces here, there was another seat row at the back of us filled up with some girls that were busy introducing themselves.

"Is she general Khalil's wife ?" I heard someone among the girls asked. Waleeda responded before I could "Yes she is, she is also my cousin." She told them.

"He's so lucky to have her right ?" Waleeda asked gaining a lot of agreements followed by praises of them saying 'She's so beautiful.'

I blushed and acted as if I could not hear them, I could not help but worry about Khalil, he should have been back some hours ago, he normally returns as fast as he could. I wonder what kept him busy, I...

"..............right  Ilham? Ilham!" I was snapped out of my thoughts when I realized they had been speaking to me.

"I'm sorry what ?" I inquired and they answered me ignoring the fact that I was overthinking before.

The girls' day out as Waleeda called it was typically us going shopping from one boutique to another, us going to different restaurants to try out new foods, us going to multiple parks, my legs was aching by the time they dropped me back at home.

"We also have another day out tomorrow and you're invi—" Waleeda started but I knew I couldn't do these day outs no more.

"I'll pass, thank you." I said, exhaustion clear in my voice and they laughed at me playfully while I carried my shopping bags into the house after bidding them a goodbye.

...............

The next few weeks came fast, and soon the next few months flew by too and there was still no sign of Khalil, I was getting worried and I wanted to ask about him from his family but I decided against it. Definitely the work was too much so he had to stay back and complete it all.

But still, it has been four months since I've heard from him and I've been trying his phone number but to no avail.

I was in the bakery working today and it was getting extra busy, too busy for my liking if you'll ask me. I went for a quick break to pray and came back after offering asr prayer, we should be closing up soon but with the way the orders are flying about today I'll probably not close up anytime soon.

I carried my phone and was exchanging the pleasantries with my parents when I saw some notifications from an unknown number, I was curious, really curious so I checked the messages only to see a picture, actually not a picture,  but pictures of Khalil together with some unknown girl.

I have never seen her before, I can't even say she's his family relative because I was sure I've never seen her before. I was angry, an emotion I hate feeling, I know he does not love me but at-least he could at-least respect the fact that we're in a marriage relationship together.

I jabbed my phone into the pocket of my dress and returned back to work, even as I continued working I could not help but wonder, so that's what he has been staying at Maiduguri to do, extra marital affair, really Khalil. I could feel the bitterness in my chest and I was sure if anyone was to speak to me now I'll snap at them.

"Everyone, we take one more order and we're closing up." I said,

"But there's still a lot....."

"I said we're taking one more." Referring to Umar that  was behind me.

They were relieved to all go back home, but not more relieved than me, I feel suffocated. Little did I know that I'll feel even more suffocated once I entered into the house I consider to be my marital home.

It used to be my safe place but now I feel suffocated and sick just staying here.

I went upstairs and prayed maghrib, somewhere around seven pm I went downstairs only to see him coming inside. The first thing I noticed was the way he was slowly moving his right arm, it was as if he injured it, it's his hobby to injure himself but what I didn't know was that it's also his hobby to injure people around him.

His actions has punctured my heart, and I'm injured.

I was thinking he'll start explaining himself, or at least tell me what happened to his arm but he surprised me by waking past me to go upstairs as if I was not even standing there.

I quickly held his arm before he could completely pass me, he needs to say something, anything that'll make me feel like those pictures are fake.

"Don't you dare touch me." He shrugged his hands out of my hold, his voice calm even though the anger in it could be clearly heard.

Why is he the one angry when I'm the done being cheated here ?

To top all the pain up, he brushed my shoulders nearly pushing me off my feet as he passed and walked up the stairs.

I stood there fixed in a spot, until I felt a lone single tear sliding down my cheeks did I come back to reality.

It has always been like this, people will always march and walk past me, even in my secondary school days, they hurt my feelings and say sorry over and over again and I'll always forgive them. I would always keep quiet, it has always been like this,  but not this time.

I can't continue being the same old nice me anymore, not when he hurts me and walked pass me like I'm the one that hurts him, not when he cheats on me while we are married and walked pass me like I was the one cheating on him.

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I can't be the only one that does not have a celebrity crush.... Or am I ?