Special Chapter
Aiah Arceta Point Of View
It's been six months since Mikha died, and I still can't accept everything. Gusto kong kausapin yung kapatid niya na ngayon ay pinag-babayaran ang ginawa niyang pag-patay sa sarili niyang kapatid pero hindi ko pa siya kayang harapin at tanungin kung bakit niya nagawa kay Mikha 'yon.
When I can't sleep at night, I always stare at the empty side of our bed and wonder about the things I would tell her if she's laying next to me.
And how do I really feel? I guess I can never recover, I know naman na wala kami sa right time kaya nangyari 'to. But I content with the fact that, in that finite moment when I was in her arms.
Ang sakit lang isipin na ayun na pala yung huling pag-uusap namin. Akala ko susunduin niya ko pero ako pala yung mag hahatid sa kanya sa huling hantungan niya. Nung mga araw at gabi na wala na si Mikha, ang hirap-hirap dahil pakiramdam ko ang bagal matapos ng isang araw.
But I know in some parallel universe, she held me tighter, she tried harder and she said Look my love I will meet you in half way na hinihintay kong mangyari.
All I want is a soft epilogue for both of us because we deserve a better epilogue.
In the past few months, Jhoanna and Colet have always visited also Gwen because Mikha told them to watch over me.
"D-daya mo naman Mikha ikaw ang gusto kong dumalaw sakin" umiiyak na sabi ko habang nakatitig sa picture niya. "K-kahit sa panaginip nalang sana Mikha p-please"
Nawawalan na ko ng pag-asa para saming dalawa dahil kahit anong gawin ko hindi ko na maibabalik yung dati.
"Gusto ko lang naman sumaya pero bakit pinagkait pa sakin?" bulong ko pa. Pinunasan ko yung luha ko at kinuha yung susi ng kotse ni Mikha. Sumakay ako at nag drive papuntang alyssum kung nasaan yung Kuya niya.
When I got there, I immediately looked for her brother from a policeman in charge and asked if I could talk to him.. Good thing he agreed because it's not visiting days today. Dinala nila sakin yung Kuya ni Mikha. I felt sorry for his appearance, because his condition was obviously not good, he sat on the other side and blankly stared at me behind the thick glass that blocked between us.
"Just now someone visited me since I was in prison" he said in cold tone. Kita ko sa mga mata niya yung lungkot dahil sa kadahilang hindi na siya dinalaw ng parents niya.
"I just want to talk to you"
Hindi siya nag salita at nanatiling nakatitig lang sakin. Huminga ako ng malalim at pilit kumuha ng lakas ng loob para itanong kung bakit niya nagawa kay Mikha 'yon.
"How did you do that to Mikha? don't you feel guilty? you took the life of your own sister" my voice broke and tears kept falling from my eyes.
it took him a while before he answered and then he answered after a while.. "Because of jealousy, I just now realized how stupid I was to do that to her"
Hindi agad ako nakasagot at pinakinggan nalang siya.
"Alam ko'ng hindi ako naging mabuting kapatid sa kanya, mula ng mga bata pa lang kami ay palagi nalang siya ang pinagmamalaki ni Dad, ako ni minsan hindi niya nagawang ipagmalaki.." tumawa siya ng mapakla bago nag patuloy. "Habang lumalaki kami, lumalaki rin ang galit ko sa kanya.. pero kahit na ganun ay hindi ko naramdaman na naging iba ang trato niya sakin, tinuring pa rin niya ako'ng Kuya kahit na hindi ako napag paka-kuya sa kanya"
